Cognitive Dissonance: Listen

Cognitive Dissonance

Cognitive Dissonance: a discomfort caused by holding conflicting ideas simultaneously The theory of cognitive dissonance proposes that people have a motivational drive to reduce dissonance. They do this by changing their attitudes, beliefs and actions. Dissonance is also reduced by justifying, blaming and denying.

Monday, January 17, 2011


I recently joined a website called, it's a site devoted to supporting people who have left the Christian faith.  I am also a fan of the website on Facebook, so I see a lot of the articles and forum topics that are posted/updated on a daily basis.  There's a theme that I see in a vast majority of the stories that people submit, rejection.  The people who say they believe in love and reconciliation are the first people to damn their so called loved ones.  Maybe it's because they recognize the fact that what they believe is by definition insane and they wish they had the courage to admit that there is no god.  Personally I have experienced quite a bit of this kind of treatment from my family and friends.  I think everyone who chooses to confront me has their own reasons for why they disagree or dislike the choices I've made and they're entitled to their opinion.  I have thick enough skin from a lifetime of verbal and emotional abuse that it just rolls of my back.  However, some of these kids who I'm reading about are genuinely distressed by the hateful, spiteful, ignorant reactions from their family and friends.  So I'm going to challenge the "Christians" to put the rubber to the road and actually demonstrate the love you say that Jesus showed the world, if you really believe all the tenants of the Christian faith then you believe that you are just as unworthy as the next person.  So live that way and show some love, kindness, acceptance and grace to people who don't subscribe to the same things you do.

If I was still pounding pulpits and thumping bibles I would be very concerned that people are receiving so much more love, kindness and respect from so called "godless" people than from the Christians in their lives.  Personally, I can say that except for 2 people, literally 2 I have gotten nothing but negativity, judgement and condemnation from the religious folks in my life.

More insightful people might accuse me of being angry, and I will not deny the fact that I am indeed hurt and angry.  I feel cheated, slighted and like I missed out on some of the best and most important parts and childhood and adolescence.  I take that into account every time I write something like this.  In fact, a personal fear of going overboard and lashing out in a way that would make me just as big of a hypocrite as the people I'm addressing has held me back from commenting on these thoughts and feelings until today.  But I feel like if these words only reach one set of ears and spare one person the heartache of being rejected by the people they love and respect it's absolutely worth it.

I'm so sick and tired of the hypocrisy.

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